Evening Comics Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Scheme

Late-night's top comedians used their evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's newly announced immigration initiative, labeled the "golden visa," portraying it as a clear pay-for-access arrangement for the rich.

Stephen Colbert's Pointed Spin

Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a mock holiday jingle about the president. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... destroys all he handles."

The subject was the controversial initiative that allows overseas citizens to buy U.S. residency for a sum of one million dollars, with a "premium" option for five million. An official page guarantees approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief message here to affluent immigrants: before you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the scheme is also meant to "squeeze cash" from firms wishing to hire foreign workers, involving significant payments. "That is a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get two free nights at a hotel of your selection – provided that it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.

"The most thorough screening the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these people absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"It's a card that will let wealthy foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel teased the simplicity of the form, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping poll numbers amid economic anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a bid to address prices, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a selection of grocery items, and behaved oddly to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting right-leaning media defenses of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.